January 27th to 29th- mad hostel, beach parties, and guns

After the horrific ferry ride we're safely in gorgeous Ko Phangan. Our hostel is owned by a wild 40 something English man and his Thai wife and children. He's been there for 20 years, clearly not wanting to grow up, walking around with an un-buttoned shirt, telling us stories of drug times, mad parties, becoming the hostel dj at night, which he's actually surprisingly good at, passing out on the sofa.. Cigarettes, alcohol bottles and various strange memorabilia lie around the bar area, along with a gun.... His life based around giving his 16 hostel visitors a wild time. His kids don't seem to have a bed and instead sleep on the sofas in the bar/lobby/dj area, and amazingly sleep through his booming djing combined with the music coming from  5 metres down the road at the beach parties.  
   The first night we spent at an amazing foam party on the beach. Dancing in the foam that came up to well over our heads was so much fun, not sure if you were going to drown, then running into the sea to wash it all off. There was a huge bolt of lightening followed by thunder and a tropical rain storm. So lush all dancing away on the beach in pouring rain. The storm caused a powercut and all the lights and music on the whole island stopped for a few scary but exhilerating seconds as we all suddenly found ourselves in PITCH black. The fire dancers here are mental, huge skipping rope set alight, massive circle formed, then pissed partyers encouraged to jump in and skip as they spin the flaming rope faster and faster. So many people being bashed over the head or getting themselves tangled in the firey rope... Thai kids younger than 10 spinning fire poi on platforms. They sell strange alcohol buckets here, and we had a major warning from the British embassy guy we met here about them. They each have a bottle of concentrated red bull type stuff in, which is banned in the EU, and Thai law state nobody should have more than 2 of them within 24 hours, when of course people are drinking far more than that. They make your heart beat far too fast apparently.. The concentrated red bull stuff is then mixed with coke, which makes it even worse. Then added to that is what is supposed to be vodka or whisky but in most cases definitely is something more like petrol. We've been drinking our own alcohol bought from a supermarket instead, but have had a few buckets and they're definitely interesting... Met so many lovely, friendly people, the atmosphere here is so happy I love it. Apart from the one fight last night in which a bench was smashed over someones head. Sent me into panicy tears, but think things were ok after half the crowd rushed in to break it up... 
   Spend the day times recovering on the beach in the sunshine. Ben and Will started a game where you have to throw a ball to hit a plastic bottle in the sand, when you hit it you have to move to a line further back and try to hit it from further and further distances. Weren't many people left on the beach so decided couldn't embarrass myself too badly considering my serious lack of sporting ability... Anyway, turned out that i beat both boys very impressively, hitting the bottle from the furthest distance long before they got past the first stage. HA HA HA. ;)
     Last night we were drinking in the hostel bar, and me being my usual nosey self sat there people watching the people in the street, noticed a oddly-behaving, tattooed Thai guy swagger in to talk to our hostel owner. They were acting weirdly, and then slunk off across the road to a tattoo shop were the Thai guy pulled out a huge shotgun from his trousers. I seemed to be the only one who had noticed.. He then handed our hostel owner a smaller gun, which he snuck down his trousers and came back over to our hostel and hid at the back of a drawer.. Didn't feel threatening to us, he clearly moved here to live the gangster life style.. But the Thai guy hung around outside for a while, falling about looking a bit off-his face on something, then marched in muttering something to our hostel guy, they both rushed over to the drawer, grabbed the gun, the Thai guy rushed back outside and shoved this English man, grabbing him round the waist. This is when I decided I was about to witness a shooting a few metres infront of me and ducked down under the window waiting for the screams.. but it all jsut seemed to fizzle out.. Who knows.. This place is mad.

January 22nd to 27th- Ko Samui

WILL IS BACCKK! yeeeeeyyy!!!! Almost a week in Ko Samui, arrived sick so unfortunately spent most of it in bed in the hostel going insane from cabin fever and pretending foil off pill packets was money, hoarding it and going mental when the cleaner put them in the bin.... Started feeling rubbish at the rafts on the lake, stomach cramps and a fever with achy muscles and sore skin, dizziness, hot & cold.. then on top of that got the shits and headaches. Got to Ko Samui, kept having most horrendous stomach cramps, didn't eat for 4 days but even sips of water and little tablets made me feel more deathly queasy and start horrible violent puking up bile. Lifting myself from the bed and i'd feel like i was about to faint. This stayed the same until the end of the week and by then I'd decided the devil was inside me trying to kill me putting my body in self-destruct. Not letting me drink eat or take tiny amounts of medicine to feel better. And pissing like i'd drunk gallons of water when I hadn't had any. And i KNOW everybody gets ill when they go traveling but you forget that when you feel like you're being murdered from the inside.. Anyway, took some special antibiotics from my huge medical kit and killed the fucker first. Felt so weak from no food and hardly any water, but made it to the gorgeous white sand blue sea beach and into the sea. Didn't realise how strong the waves were and found myself swept under and rolling along the sea-bed. Got back to the surface got my breath back and my hair out of my face. Looked down and realised my bikini top was twisted up round my neck and bottoms somewere round my ankles. Threw myself back onto my knees before any more people on the beach could see, then got hit from behind by another huge wave and I was rolling around on the sea bed again. The whole process repeated itself over and over until thank GOD i was rescued by Saydi. That evening we went for a lovely meal on the beach and plain pasta tasted more delicious than I thought ever possible. 
   Had a lovely last few days relaxing on the beach, swimming, and going out at night at the fab Samui clubs. Enjoyed a few drunken Mc-Chicken sandwiches from the cleverly placed McDonalds on the way home. Will got his crotch grabbed by a lady boy going 'LOOK AT YOUR WIIILLLYYY'. Lissa got told to pull her top down more by sleazy man, she called him a twat, then walked head first into a pole. Few too many Australians walking round topless with their country flag over their shoulders... 
    Got a taxi to the ferry port for our boat to Ko Phangan. Terrified for my life sat on the bench seats in the back, no seat belts with the driver driving at ridiculous speed on the wrong side of the road with his hand constantly on the horn. Too many too near crashes. Ferry port filled with hundreds of backpackers like us catching the boat to the FULL MOON PARTY island awoooooo!! Piled onto the small wooden ferry which was clearly a long way over-loaded. This seemed alright chugging along in the quiet bay. Then we got to the un-sheltered seas and it all changed. The boat was swaying like you see in those terrifying clips of fishermen in the deep seas in a storm. Water was coming in the windows when we rocked each way creaking and banging. Crammed into this rickety wooden boat with all of us smelly travelers and our bags, with sea-sick or terrified expressions, most people with their heads in their hands.. I thought I'd been clever by choosing to sit under the window but soon found myself face to face with a load of smelly crotches as people dashed to have their heads in the fresh air. People fainted and people puked, I spent the journey clinging to Ben's leg counting my breaths in and out, terrified we were going to capsize and sink. But we got there alive eventually.   

January 20th to 22nd- Jungle Magic Tour

The jungle magic tour was amazing. Caught another overnight train down to Surat Thani where we were met by our driver. He took us to our first nights accomodation at Art's Riverview Lodge which was right in the middle of the jungle. Our rooms were treehouses over-looking a river and huge cliff where monkeys gather in the evening. The bathroom was also incredible, no ceiling, loads of plants, and a shower that falls down over rocks like a waterfall, could imagine a monkey dropping down from the overhanging trees while you're on the loo. Had a guided canoe trip in the afternoon where we saw all sorts of wildlife. The scenery is amazing here, huge jagged cliffs jut out of the ground like someone has stuck them there. Figs were growing on the riverside trees, ended up throwing the ones that had fallen into the river at eachothers boats.. I got completely picked on by Ben and Lissa and their super-throwing guide and was dodging the figs flying at me until their guide threw one that had been rotting in the river slightly too long.. hit the side of the canoe and exploded sending rotting, slimy, stinking fig all over me. They all found this hilarious and took advantage of my hysterical laughter/ distressed wailing 'get it offff meeee' by throwing more and more. Was very funny but SO gross and our lovely guide kindly jumped into the water to come and help wash off the slimy fig that was everywhere.. Stopped to swim in the river, swinging off rope swings. 
   Got home and had a Thai dinner at Art's restaurant while we watched the monkeys gathering on the cliff. The naughty guide that threw the exploding fig appeared at our table with something behind his back.. We all jumped back as he placed a HUGE toad on our table, by huge I mean the size of a foot ball. It sat their croaking and watching us eat, us all sat on the edge of our seats convinced it was going to leap at us any second. He came back to take it to show another table just in time, as he presented it to another lady it shot a huge amount of wee all over her leg. Lots of screaming that night from Emily and Saydi's room at the lizard that was inside their mosquito net, and the bat screeching around their heads.
  Up early the next day for our transfer to Chieow Lan lake. A gorgeous lake in the mountains. Caught a long-tail boat for an hour to our raftrooms. Floating between two islands was a row of lovely little bamboo huts that were our bedrooms. Everything was so peaceful and beautiful. Step out of our room and you can dive (or pathetic flop jump in my case) straight into the clear, fresh water of the lake. Spent a lot of time messing about in the water, then jumping out to sunbathe on the bamboo platforms. All meals were included and for lunch they presented us with the most delicious selection of Thai food we've had so far, and any empty plates they hurriedly piled on more. In the afternoon we went on a walk through the jungle. Our guide showed us an intricate trap door created by a spider to catch it's prey, and tapped on the entrance to other tarantula homes which made them come creeping out to pounce on the stick. Gave me shivvers but was very cool to see. Also spotted monkeys dropping through trees and chameleons running along the ground. Sleeping in the bamboo huts gently rocking on the lake was so lovely and peaceful. Desperate for the loo in the middle of the night and too scared to navigate the wobbly walking platform through the lake to the toilets in the pitch black by myself, so dragged ben with me. Lots of rustling and movement in the trees right next to the toilets had us moving very fast back to our hut.
   The next day we did some more wildlife spotting before breakfast in kayaks, and during the day by long-tail boat. So much fun. We were very sad to say goodbye to this idylic place but had to get our transfer to Don Sak ferry port for the ferry to Ko Samui. 

January 17th to 18th

Mad night out in Kanchanaburi, found a funny little bar where we were allowed to play whatever music we wanted all night. So stayed there drinking buckets of Thai alcohol, meeting funny people and playing pool. Both Sayd and Em neatly puked up their dinners into the bar's back garden, Emily not so neatly.. 
   Morning after we hired bikes again, ben changed his mind last minute and chilled on our balcony in the sun all day. So 5 girls on our rickety bikes made our way south of Kanchanaburi to the weird cave temple. Couldn't understand the Thai road laws, don't seem to be many anyway but definitely cycled the wrong way up a few one way streets, dodging manic cars and motorbikes.. Something about 5 British girls in a row cycling through Thai countryside on wobbly bikes in little shorts and tops must have been unusual, got honked or waved at by every passing vehicle. Friendly hellos or taking the piss of the ridiculous sight. Motorbikes slowed down to drive parallel with us looking over with massive teethy grins. Swerved to avoid a selection of dead road-side animals, cats, lizards, rats.. And crazy peddling and screaming when Saydi at the back shouted that a stray dog was chasing after us barking and snapping at her wheels. Got confronted by a massive hill but collapsed off half way up in hysterical laughter.. RIDICULOUSLY difficult to peddle the old gear-less bikes in the heat up what felt like a mountain. The cave temple was weird.. Go deeper and deeper underground, through narrow little paths and doorways, coming across various rooms with random shrines in, big buddhas and strange ribbons wrapped around rocks. A tourist was murdered in there in 1995 by a drug-addicted monk so we were all a bit jumpy.. 
  Had another funny night out at the bar, owned by a Thai woman called 'Sugar' who gave us free welcome shots for coming back.. Unfortunately they were home made Thai whisky and just the smell was gag-inducing so I snuck mine into my existing drink bucket while faking the horrid after-shot grossness that everybody else had to endure ;) 
   Today we caught a bus to Erawan National Park to see the 7-tiered waterfall. Was so beautiful, the water was perfectly blue and full of big fish. We all trekked to the very top tier. So worth the climb up the trail that was pretty much non-existent in places and had half of us with mild injuries by the time we got to the top. The 7th water-fall was incredible, can't put it into words you'll just have to imagine, looked like something from a magical world.. Shame about the loud, fat group of 15 or so Greek people chortling and shouting and throwing themselves belly first into the pools.. Talk about ruining the peaceful atmosphere. One of them, ignoring the sign 'beware, vicious monkeys' decided to get too close and made a tit of himself when the monkey went for him, all teeth and claws. HA HA HA. Down to the jungle for a 2 day jungle magic tour tomorrow.
  

January 14th to 16th- Kanchanaburi and teaching Ben to ride a bike

Our hostel guy kindly offered to book our sleeper train back to Bangkok for us. He rung up and was told that the train was cancelled. We all panicked for a few minutes with blank faces wondering how on earth we'd get all the way down to Bangkok in time to get the bus to our next hostel.. He came back into the room a few minutes later and casually told us he'd booked us overnight bus tickets now instead. Panic over.
   The overnight bus was pretty impressive, with seats that reclined right back almost flat, and gave you a vibrating back massage.. 
   Woke up In a daze in the middle of the night to face a torch being shined into our faces, when my eyes started working properly i saw that whoever it was had a gun in his belt. Startled I  realised it must be some weird security check, and mouthed this to saydi who was looking over with a  pretty terrified expression. 
   Next time I woke up was 6am and we'd arrived in Bangkok. 3 hours later by a different bus and we'd arrived in Kanchanburi. Our floating guesthouse is gorgeous. We have a room next door to Emily and Sayd on the floating raft, which is handy as we can hop over onto their balcony when we want. It's so lovely to open your door in the morning and sit on your balcony floating in the middle of a beautiful river with water lilies, and eat breakfast watching the sun come up. It's so peaceful and chilled out, we spent the day reading in the sun on our balconies. Everything gets much louder at night with party and karaoke boats competing to be the loudest and most fun.. The reception and cafe of our guesthouse is balanced precariously on what seems like random pieces of whatever wood they could get their hands on. It juts out over the steep river bank, and looks like it could and WILL collapse any minute. There's pieces of wood just nailed in any old where not appearing to be joining or supporting anything at all.. 
   Today we decided to hire bikes and cycle around to explore Kanchanaburi. This is when Ben quietly mentions to me that he has never been taught to ride a bike but that he's 'SO excited because i'm going to teach him and from today onwards he will be able to ride a bike!'... So I told the others and me and him went ahead to get bikes and have an hour or so attempt at teaching him.
   Spent the morning teaching him on a rickety old bike on a dusty track down to our hostel. He thought he'd get the hang of it in 5 minutes and be peddling off to the River Kwai Bridge within an hour, I mean, how hard can it be?... Instead there was stropping and angry bike shaking and insisting he could NOT do it. The Thai people popping their heads out to watch him struggling wasn't helping either.. Not long after insisting he'd never be able to do it he was cycling past me with big grins. YEY! Was still wobbly but said he didn't need any more practice and wanted to have breakfast and then cycle to the bridge.  
   6 of us peddling along in a row on wobbly, rusty bikes with no breaks braved the mental Thai roads. Not sure if all the horn honking was to tell us to move or because they'd not seen such a ridiculous sight. Thai boys kept taking photos.. Not surprisingly ben found his first bike ride cycling on the road with the traffic speeding past us not as easy as on the quiet track, and he wobbled about feeling like he'd fall under a wheel any minute. But he said he definitely wanted to keep going. The rest of us had our first bike ride after we'd grasped balancing, around a quiet industrial estate.. Quite different to the dusty, busy Thai road Ben was having his practice on.. But he made it to the bridge with us as frustrated as he was. 
  The Bridge over the River Kwai was pretty impressive. Decided we'd walk over it, I clearly didn't think this through... Found myself in a panic attack half way across trying to crouch down between the rail way tracks onto the narrow metal path. Nothing to hold onto and surrounded by gaps right down to the river between the metal struts. Everything was too out of control and suddenly was all teary eyed and manic breathing, clinging to Ben as he led me back to the safe ground. Ahh such a scaredy cat! 
   Had a look around a weird WWII museum which had so many randomly placed random objects you couldn't tell what was junk and what was part of the museum. Casually strolled across a huge lizard, iguana maybe? But definitely bigger, with a great long tail, sat by a wall. It eyed us up suspiciously and I convinced myself they look slow but if you get too close they wrap their tail around your ankle, trip you up and launch their teeth and claws at your eyes.
   On the cycle ride back Ben insisted that I cycle ahead with the others so he can take his time and feel less pressured to keep up. We all arrived back but with no sign of Ben, waited for him to turn up so we could order lunch but after 5 minutes he still wasn't here. I went back to look for him. Found him angrily marching his bike along the road with a mashed up big toe. He'd decided to cycle in flip-flops and had wobbled off and scuffed his toe along the dirty Tarmac as he put his foot down to stop himself falling. A flap of skin was missing off the tip and a chunk of nail, was all bloody and covered in dust and grit. I've watched mum bandage up many family scuffed toes so using the extensive first aid kit provided to me by mother doctor I cleaned his toe up and wrapped it all up nicely with antiseptic cream, bandages, plasters and tape.tAsks that was definitely ENOUGH learning to ride a bike for one day.. 

January 13th-14th one traveller down :(

We're staying at SpicyThai Backbackers, in a beautiful village just outside Chiang Mai. Its so chilled out and everyone here is really cool and helpful. The hostel organised a trip to Wat Doi Suthep, a temple on top of the mountain with amazing views over Chiang Mai. 400 steps up the mountain to the temple though, OUCH. And emily fell up the very first one.. We learnt all about buddist culture and their ideas about heaven and hell. And how if their theories are correct we're going to all have our tongues sliced lots of times. We entered a small room and got blessed by a Buddha, he threw their version of holy water over us, prayed and tied a piece of white cord around our wrists. Funny journey back where our hostel leader told us all about the sexual habits of young Thai's and how sex before marrige is not acceptable to their parents, so they're all rebelling and having sex as young as 11. He also said how they were too embarassed to use condoms as the ones from Western world are too large and fall off. But Durex have studied them and now produce a smaller size...
  The way they drive here is absolutely mad, on windy roads up the mountain they drive on whatever side of the road they feel like to avoid steering as much as possible. In the afternoon we went to a lake and ate delicious Thai food and sunbathed. Avoided swimming so not to get tiny fish up fanny disease.. 17 of us squeazed into a pick up truck back, some hanging on the back, Saydi and Em sat on the roof. He had a good laugh driving through bushes and trees and driving so fast round and round a tree, making the people on top scream and come scarily close to flying off. We were too busy in hysterics to think just how dangerous it all was, no seat belts and people clinging on for their lives. But we arrived back safely ;) also had a lovely night out, a fab live band were playing at a club, and we spent most of the night pretty much drowning them out singing along with them to oasis, kings of leon, red hot chili peppers. Luckily they loved our enthusiasm. Went to the dance club area after.. A bit intimidated with pretty much every Thai person around us staring at us, we smiled and they smiled back, but the staring didn't stop. Didn't know what was so unusual but  got too drunk to care... 
   Woke up this morning to find Will wasn't here, he'd been feeling sick and really ill over the last few days. But this morning discovered he'd been driven to hospital. We text him to find out he'd been diagnosed with an appendicitis and was having an operation soon. We decided to try to visit him, but arrived at the wrong hospital without realising and spent HOURS trapsing around different buildings, trying to locate him with no signs in English.. I hate hospitals and seeing all the poor sick people on beds EVERYWHERE. Eventually after 5 hours discovered we were at the wrong hopsital and instead he was in the private one. His room was better than most hotels, huge tv, fridge, microwave, ensuite bathroom, balcony. But poor Will :( his mum is flying out to be with him while he recovers for a week so we're going to go on one man down and meet up again in a week or so... Sad times!    

11th January- Patara Elephant Farm

Had the most incredible amazing day at Patara Elephant Farm. We drove into the mountains to an area that looked just like it was the fieldy bit of jurrassic park. Couldn't spot the elephants at first, but then found them on the distance. SO HUGE and prehistoric looking. We were taught to approach them with a basket of food and lift a banana into the air and shout their name, if the elephant accepts you it flaps it's ears, lifts it's trunk and makes it's trumpet noise at you. Which was unbelievably sweet! Apparently they sometimes have trouble with the male elephant not accepting men to ride it and instead staring at the man and standing stone still, so they have to swap elephants. We were each allocated our own elephant, mine called Tap Tong, and the elephant's mahout (carer and owner) for the day. We learnt first how to feed them, by saying 'BON' and they raise their trunks and open their mouths for you to place in the fruit. Got covered in slobber! We learnt a lot about the care of our elephants, health, how to inspect their dung, check they've been sleeping, check they're happy, and about their history and breeding. We walked them into a stream where they lay down and we washed and brushed them, which turned into a water fight between mahout and elephant and us. We were then taught the various methods of how to get onto the elephant bareback, and commands to use with them. I chose the method where you tap their leg so they bend it and allow us to use it as a step up onto their necks. The riding took a while to get used do with nothing to hold onto! The walk took us through rivers and up and down mountain tracks, the uphill and downhill was SO steep I couldn't see myself staying on trying to lean back or forward and resist the forces of gravity pulling you off from the height while balancing with big elephant bones wobbling about underneath you. We arrived at a gorgeous waterfall and river pool, where we swam with the elephants who behave so strangely in water, submerging themselves completely on their sides floating about with their huge feet swishing around. They're really so gentle! While we were swimming the mahouts prepared us the most amazing Thai lunch picnic, layed out on leaves on the rock. They asked us if we'd like to ride elephants in pairs on the way back. Emily and I thought we'd try.. You ask the elephant to lower it's head then hold it's back and frog-leap up onto it's neck, which was raaaather interesting considering my lack of athletic ability.. When emily jumped up the elephant lifted it's head too early and she was lifted into the air balancing on her stomach with her legs flailing about behind her. She sat infront on it's head with her legs dangling down it's forehead, and I sat behind her with my legs around it's neck. Neither of us had anything at all to hold onto except for eachother and we spent the walk back through the stream in a mix of screams and hysterical laughter trying to balance on it's wobbling head. Honestly didn't think we'd make it back to camp without falling all the way down off the elephant and into the mud. The mahouts found our panic hilarious and kept encouraging the elephant to jiggle more.. But we made it back clean apart from the mud the elephant squirted all over us with it's trunk. Definitely did not want to say goodbye to the gorgeous creatures! 
  It is so unlike other elephant camps in that you have your own elephant for the day and do not ride in a cage or a saddle but bare back, you arent just allowed on a little trek but spend the day caring for them, and learning about their lives. No circus tricks or touristy shows and you can tell just how much the mahouts care for their elephants. All the elephants have been rescued from cruel backrounds. They allow them to breed and when the babies are old enough they're released into the wild. SO AMAZING. If you're ever in Chiang Mai you should definitely spend the day here. But FUCKING HELL my bum bones are bruised. 

8th January to 10th January

Had a fab night out in Bangkok, followed signs for a bar called 'gazebo' found the entrance down an alleyway. The door had two big warning signs 'NO FOOD' 'NO GUNS'.. Our handbags were then searched by police with torches, wondered what sort of club we'd found...  Turned out to be a a really lovely roof-top shisha bar, with funky mexican style decoration, pretty lights and live band with an amazing saxaphone player. Wanted to go to a club to dance after and were hassled into one that had free entry.. Thought we'd try it but were surrounded by skanky English men dirty dancing with Thai women, the more I looked around the more repulsive I realised it was there. Watched a program about Thai women who in an attempt to help their family survive, come to Bangkok and sell themseles to men for the evening to afford to send money home to their children. It's so sad, felt so so sorry for the women having to just be around those pervy leering SKANKS let alone have sex with them. Left that club as soon as we could and found a nice club with nice people to dance with, but our eyes were definitely opened to some of the downsides of life for people in Thailand.
  On Saturday we got on the sky train to chatuchak Market and had a lovely time looking around the 10,000 stalls selling anything from gorgeous vintage clothes to puppys. Such a fab market, bought a lovely new vintage dress for 70Baht which is only about £1.10!! Would pay about £30 for it in the uk!
  Saturday night we caught a sleeper train up to chiang mai. The lady that I was sat next to clearly had some sort of contagious illness as none of the train staff would go near her without a face mask, and she kept coughing into scarves. And I was stuck there wondering what on earth she must have and trying my hardest not to breathe in. A man came and turned our seats into beds, we unfortunately had upper berths as we didn't reserve our tickets enough in advance.. Tiny narrow little bed, constantly felt I was going to roll over and go clattering into the aisle.But it was a funny little adventure. Pulled my little curtain across and thought I'd have a lovely long sleep from 9pm.. Woke up at 10pm pleased that I'd slept through the night, unill I looked at my watch. EURGH. woke again at 11, and 12, and 1 and 2 and again at 3 at which point I was convinced the train was careering down a rocky mountain to hell. There were so many bangs and crashes, and the train was bouncing and shaking all over the place at ridiculous speed. I have no idea what was happening, it definitely didn't sound healthy at all.. but eventually got back to sleep after the noise went on for long enough that I convinced myself it must just be an incredibly bumpy track. Woke up and our beds were turned back into seats.. Peaked out of the window to see no ground but hundreds of metres of air and the distant rainforest below us.. Arrfgg vertigo...!! Seemed we were on some ridiculously high bridge moving at an equally ridiulously slow speed. Stopped right in the middle for what seemed like forever and then started bloody reversing!!! Heard a Thai girl explain to someone that the train was too heavy to go up the hill so was going backwards somewhere... You'd think they wouldn't go by guess work on whether or not the train will be too heavy when over 5 run a day!! We stopped at a really lovely pretty little train station in the middle of the rainforest, decorated with flowers and plants, and waited for another train to come along and push us up the hill....

Forgot to mention

Forgot to mention.. Keep getting offerered to 'come view ping pong show? Ping pong ping pong!?' By a Thai man on Khao San road. My innocent mind presumed this would just be an average ping pong match... I declined the offer and he responded with 'banana show lady lady?'. Again I said no, thinking he must be getting his English mixed up. Discovered from my knowledgable friends that a ping pong show is actually watching naked thai women shooting ping pong balls from their vadges. I'll leave it to your imagination to work out what a banana show could be.. Apparently it involves no-handed peeling.

January 5th to 9th

Arrived safely in Bangkok, after long and tiring flights. With a stop over at Doha. Coordinated ourselves onto a bus into town with our massive bags. Emily has packed her whole wardrobe, seeming to have forgotten she has to carry it on her back.. Bus ride was slow but interesting, got to see quite alot of Bangkok from falling apart little wooden houses with planks out onto canals where they wash their clothes, to the sky scrapers and funky cafes. We couldn't work out where to get off the bus, and no bus drivers, taxi men or tuk tuk drivers recognise maps of their own town.. Makes getting a round very tricky! Got off and found our way through the 33 degrees celcius humid hot air to our hostel. The roads are mad, the traffic doesn't stop for red lights, if you want to cross the road at a crossing you literally have to step out into the 5 lanes of bedlam and hope they stop before they reach your feet or you're standing on the pavement for hours.. Our hostel is lovely, called Niras Bancok Boutique Hostel. My feet are already a blistered mess from sweaty walks with big bags. Went to khao San road for some Pad Thai from a street vendor, which is basically DELICIOUS noodles, vegetables, egg and chicken cooked up in a massive wok. We've bought our sleeper train tickets up to Chiangmai and down to Surat thani and explored China town. The smells from the streets range from delicious noodle dishes to most horrendous smell of some sort of un-recognisable cooking meat... Had a few drinks on Khao San road, not our favousite street as it's so touristy and too many western shops, but the drinks are cheap.. Had some 'very strong cocktail only 80baht, we never check ID card'... Then found a lovely roof-top bar with live music and delicious cocktails. The next bar was a bit of a disaster, we were ushered down an alley to the entrance, went in to massive empty bar, with music so loud that the bass ached my heart. the bar ladies flocked to us before we could turn and escape forcing us into some sort of cheap deal for a bottle of 'whishky'. They stood behind us for the next hour trapping us at our table and filling our glasses with 'wishky' whenever they were empty... Made our way back to the hostel. Woke up this morning feeling like absolute death., not sure we'll be going for the weird tasting 80baht(about £1)cocktails tonight. Today we walked to Wat Pho and looked round the temple, they're all decorated with jewels and gold. Saw the huge 40ft gold reclining buddha. Got a 3-wheeled tuk tuk back, which was hilariously terrifying with hair pin turns dipping through buses, motorbikes and taxis, feeling like we would be flying out onto the road any second.. managed to convince the driver 'WE ONLY WANT TO GO TO OUR HOSTEL' after he attempted to take us to various other attractions. Tomorrow we're catching the sky train and spending the day at Chatuchak Market. In the evening is our sleeper train to Chiangmai!